Here is the truth of the matter.  I was 19 when I got pregnant with my first child.  It wasn't planned, but that doesn't mean that I don't love her.  I didn't have much as in a place to stay, so we (my man at the time) stayed with his parents.  We stayed with them for about a year and a half before scrapping up enough money to get a place of our own.  Yes, we used food stamps and the state health care.  We were both using marijuana at the time and I know now that was not helping anything.  I own up to the things that I have done, and I think that it has made me a better person for it.  Things were okay, and I say that very loosely.  I ended up getting pregnant again in 2001, and had a baby boy right before my birthday in 2002.  That one was not planned either, but I don't love him any less either.  I was working my butt off pumping gas at that time while my man was a stay at home dad for a while.  We had our fights, and I won't deny that a lot of them were my fault.  Things were really rocky for us, and after about 5 years with that man, we called it quits.  I am not going to play the blame game, it just doesn't go anywhere.  We both played our parts in the matter and that was that.  So now I was a single mom without a place to stay (I won't get into the why for that one).  I tried to find a place to stay, get a job, pack up our stuff, and figure out what I am going to do.  I was scared, very scared that I would never see my kids again.  I knew that I had to stay down here and if I tried very hard, I would eventually get what I needed to stay afloat.  You know that saying "When one door closes, another one opens"?  That is just what it did for me.
It opened up with someone standing on the other side of it.  His name is Chris.  I owe a lot to that man, and I will forever be grateful for what ever brought us together.  I met him in a bar of all places.  I know it's such a cliche but it's true.  I would go down to the bar for dinner some nights while my ex and I were together.  He was just a guy that was down there to play video golf and pool.  We would talk and play pool together.  He seemed really nice, but I knew I didn't have a chance with him.  Nothing became of us because he was a gentleman, and knew I was with someone else.  So when my ex left me, I did what I consider a normal thing.  I went down to the bar and drank.  Chris just got off of work and saw me there.  He knew something was wrong and we talked.  He told me that if I couldn't find a place, I could stay with him.  That is just what happened too.  His roommate was planning on moving anyway so I moved in.  To say we hit it off would be an understatement.  I don't know what I would do without this man, I love him so much.  He helped me get joint custody of my kids, then eventually full custody.  He has helped raise my two like he was their father.  We worked perfectly together as parents.  He is my better half.  Our money is always tight, but if I have to choose between love or money, I would gladly take love any day of the week.  Now, I know what you must think and you are right, we are not perfect people, and we do have our ups and downs.  If I was to compare notes though, I would gladly take these ups and downs any day of the week.  I think it comes down to this, we both had a hard time in our lives, and we both take responsibility for our faults in it.  We also learned from our mistakes and are better for them.  There was one thing that was lacking in our lives though.  I wanted him to be a father in all sense of the word.  I wanted him to hold his baby in his arms in the hospital and see how much of an impact that one little move makes on your heart.
I got my wish in October of 2008.  We had a very healthy baby boy.  I was more than blessed that day.  I not only was able to have Chris with me, but my parents were able to come down as well.  The only thing that I was missing was my best friend, Jen, and even though she was not able to be there for the birth, she was there for me shortly afterward.
Now as I watch Chris with our son, I know that my love for him will never go away.  I don't need a piece of paper telling me that he is my husband.  Being with him 6 years (almost seven), and loving him more and more every day tells me that I will be with him forever.
Yes money is tight, but that is because we haven't gotten welfare in about 4 years.  My small amount of child support has stopped, and I am not working right now.  I am looking for a job though, so when I find one I know that will help.  Now, I know some people will look down there noses at me, and insult the way that I live.  That is just fine by me, just be warned that I will stand up for myself and my family.  I have left out some details just because I knew this was going to be a book, but that doesn't mean that I am a liar or anything else.  I may not of asked for this life, but I am happy for what I got.  I do believe that everything has happened for a reason, and I have learned from it all.  Yet others may not want me to be, but that just goes to show you what type of people they are.
My life may not be perfect, but it's pretty damn close.